learning to swim.

Im tiered of  friendships crashing upon uncharted shores.

 no matter how hard i steer the ship away from the rocky cliffs.
you draw nearer to them. 

where you build fires made of memories.

seek shelter in dark caves.

and fail to make sos signals for your tears keep putting them out.

its been 2 moths sens ive seen you.

sens that dreadful day  when you fell over board and refused to reach for the preservers i threw to you.
i could only throw so many before i had to veer the ship away from the rocky shore.

now i sail the ocean in a broken friendship searching for you and wondering.
wondering where you are.
wondering who you are now.
wondering how you are.
wondering if you made it to shore or dreading if you lie lifeless below the water.

some times i wonder if you even wanted to be saved.
maybe you just saw this tragedy as your chance out.
while i stood firm like and anker in our cozy little ship and looked for new adventure.
you looked for new ships frind ships.
and at that time we only had one thing in common,   we both wanted what we couldn't have.
while my eyes were set on riches and memory bound adventures.
yours were set on the similar things, but in a different ship manned by people who were not me.
when you first showed sign of this thought, i assumed we could venture together and build upon our ship.
the more the merrier i exclaimed
but you had other plans
and you made it clear i was not to fallow

only a few days after speaking your mind, that dreadful day arrived
seduced by the rocky cliffs and the uncharted beach
you fell over board or maybe you eagerly leaped
ether way you are gone now and i dont know what im still doing here.
maybe im sticking around too long and i just need to move out
but i told you id always be here for you and stay firm and be but a light house and am waiting for your return.
i dont know what to do
im all mixed up in the head
i cant wait forever i have a broken life to get back to. but its better than no life at all
but what if you return on my absence
so i guess ill just sit her and wait.
and while im waiting ill be alone, because for a long while before there was you and me,
there was me and me. and all i had was alone.
i dont really want to go back to alone

so for now i will sail my my broken friend ship. because its all i have and know
and ill leave bottles with maps of my heart in them
cause we used to talk a lot about our hearts
and i miss pulling it out for a breath of air and putting it on paper.

and maybe one day you will find a bottle and you remember the tretchures adventures you had on the friend ship you sailed with the brave Captain Moby S.Charleston the III.
and maybe it will make you happy
because that all i ever wanted.

-Captain Moby