Thinking to hard

Im thinking about you.
im thinking about you like 1 thinks about 2.
Im thinking about you like walnuts think about when they're going to sprout.
im thinking about you like kids think about what they will become when they grow up.
im thinking about you like a book thinks about being opened and read.
Im thinking about you.

these are all pretty good ways to express the way im thinking about you
the only problem is that i dont think that way
that was all a lie
i think about what was.
rather than what is to come.

im thinking about you like 1 thinks about 0
im thinking about you like a walnut thinks about what tree it came from.
im thinking about you like a kid thinks about where they came from!
im thinking about you like books think about who wrote them!

so i am thinking about you like the present thinks about the past!
and the past thinks about the future! 
the the future thinks "when the hell are you going to get here"!!

Because baby I'm waiting for you. I'm waiting.


but it turns out you were waiting for me all along.
and once i got my mind straight
you were long gone
and thinking about you has become regrets of the past
where i think about you and how i could have been happy making you happy
but i was to scared.
when i start thinking about you i get scared.
no its not your face
or your weight, height, likes or any other physical traits and interests.
its that your to good.
your to good, and i could have been with you.
but i just started thinking way to much
and lost my chance
so baby im thinking about you now
im thinking that im sorry i think too much
and baby im thinking about you for who you are.
and im sorry i messed up.

-Moby

Without my defaults how me would i really be?

We all have a huge arsenal of imperfections that we wish we could change.
Our teeth arnt straight and are tinted yellow. we are to pail. we dont have nice cloths. we have a hard time keeping a conversation going. we are too skinny. we are too fat. we have way to curly hair. we arnt smart. we struggle way to much with reading so we just choose not to. we arnt good a good athlete. we have a funny looking nose. we do like the shape of our head. we have to watch what we eat.
Relax.
were not perfect. Thank God for that. Really thank him because too often we thank him for our blessings and talents. And we honestly think that's what makes us us. but really, where would we be without our imperfections. And we weren't just given those talents from God. No instead he gave us trials and defaults to make us work for our glory.
i used to think things like "im ugly" and that is why i couldn't find love. As if looks had more to do with love than whats on the inside. With looks you can get popcorn love. But when you look past the looks and see them for who they are rather than what they look like. you find yourself a whole new person.
And my ADD ahhhh gosh i hate it. i feel like id be so much smarter without it. and id be able to get all my work done better. And take all those fancy AP and college classes. but knowing what i know now and the people ive met due to me not taking those classes. I wouldn't trade my imperfections for anything. they have made me tough. and i thank God.looking over all my imperfections and my life and how ive grown from far out rather than through a magnifying glass. I am blown away at how much i have grown from them and cherish them. And what they have done for me.

imperfections are just one more thing set in your life to make you stronger and reminds us that we are just humans. And they are what make me, me. And you, you. and aint nobody going to change that.


-Moby

my lovely Rose garden in Hell.

In every house hold i see that there are words. Words of love and words of hate. And there are those words that you cant use and say in any situation. you have your swear words, your potty language, and racist words. we have a lot of those same rules in my home. But when im the father and i make the rules. I know what word will be at the top of my list.
The cuss word of all words. the big bad wolf. In my house it will be know as dropping the F bomb. Under no circumstance will you ever say it. you will never say FAIR. Because life aint fair. aint nothing fair about it. And if you think you can be speaking that word to me in arms length in my house. you best be running. Life isnt fair. Life is hard and living hell and there is only one way out of it. but the thought of that is unbearable because life. life is bearable. we've been doing it for as long as we can remember. and as long as our folks and their folk remember. Life has always been hell. as long as i can remember. but the funny thing is there are some pretty parts of hell. and the more often we learn to pay attention to those prettier parts the more beautiful parts there will be.
so while most people will cry about spilled milk and there lives that seem completely unbearable.
ill know that life. life is bearable. it aint fair. And we dont need fair.

 A beautiful hell whole reality we all call life.

All you need to do is to have perspective. Be able to see the world through others eyes. Be able to step back and think about what you are seeing through your eyes.
is it beutiful?
dose it make you happy?
the only person that will fix the situation and bring you happiness is you.
so wake up and smell the roses becues i just planted a rose garden.
yeah 2 Pac talks about a rose that grew from a crack in the concrete
 But i just grew a whole bush of roses i HELL! and they smell so heavenly.
and im happy
and life aint fair
and thats okay because im still happy
 for i have a perspective that helps me to see heaven while i dwell in this hell.

-Moby

living life dead

Im pathetic.
or maybe i just have really really bad writers block right now.
Ether way i had no idea how to stat this blog post so i looked up the meaning of death in Wikipedia.

Death is the permanent cessation of all biological functions that sustain a living organism. Phenomena which commonly bring about death include biological aging (senescence), predation, malnutrition, disease, suicide, murder and accidents or trauma resulting in terminal injury.^[1] Bodies of living organisms begin to decompose shortly after death.

Sounds about right except for the fact that they left out the living dead. No not the zombies you see on the Walking dead or in movies but the people you see every day at school, the store, and church.
they go through the day in a lifeless manner doing the same things over and over again and some how see no need for change.
Those are the living dead.
they are are living just physically
but mentally they have passed on.
and for some of them that is there life and see no need for change.
they are the reason why i wonder if humans are robots or not.

i think they are happy. but to be honest they don't show any sign of it. or any sign of anything. they just go on living their dead beet life's.

And i wonder a lot. i wonder if they are just asleep and somebody just needs to wake them up.

-Moby

broken hearts want broken necks.

We are all broken. every one of us. but there is something kind of beautiful about that isn't there.

please ignore the video its the only one that would work for the song.

we are all broken beat and down on our self's but some how we manage to go on.
you are marvelous.

Im always here

-Moby

.

Have you ever met that person that just makes you feel like a million bucks. The someone that you hardly know but you feel as if you can practically trust them with your life story. and for some strange reason you do. they are that some one that is just real. they don't wear the nicest cloths ever. they don't wear tons of makeup or even do there hair every morning. they are just plain and simple and REAL. and real people are the best kind. They are the one that will really tell you "you look fat", or "you are skinnier than a twig." They are not trying to hurt you or bring you down. They are just giving there opinion. They really do love and care about you and care more about the rreal you and not that fake mask you wear to school. They see you for what you are now and what you want to be and don't judge you based on your past. Because that's not the direction your headed and they only want to see you go forward and progress in life. They are the ones that make high school bearable and they are the ones that care so little about popularity. Because after high school who is honestly going to care if you were a
 "cool kid".
 But people will remember you for your kindness and your greater perspective on life. And not that it matters but it dose. You'll sorta become popular. but not for you gold trophies and cool kid attitude. but because you don't care. you don't care about what others think and whats "cool" you do things for you. and what makes you happy. And it seams they are happier when you are happy.

They see you for who you really are. And they Love and praise you for it.

So there is nothing left to say but thank you. Thank you Breelyn Bromly and my Best Friend
 you guys saved high school for me.

- Moby

S.I.T.T.M.

Im going to do these every now and a gain.
They stand for Sticking It To The Man.
I will basically write how i did it and how it made me feel. And the scenarios will be grand! 

I love sticking it to the man.

things will get wild

-Moby